How Becoming a Mother Changes You.

Motherhood changes you. It does something different to you. Let's skip the goody emotional stuff and confront the part that no one wants to talk about.

People mostly attribute every of our experiences to "the joy of motherhood."

For example 'my baby has kept me awake through the night, three days in a row now. I feel like a zombie in a walking dead movie'

They: "but that is the joy of motherhood."

Right. To stay awake through the night and entertain them through the day. Add the house chores. Then rinse and repeat. For three days. Are you kidding me?

Post delivery depression is real, so real for many moms. Forget that they still show up and shine teeth and act like they are put together, inside they have broken into different tiny pieces. 

Most have lost themselves in the process. They can't seem to find a way out of the quicksand of deprived sleep, poopy diapers, 24/7 hands on care and needed attention, and overcoming the stormy days of sickness to find the person they were before they became mothers.

Then the myth that everyone assumed that every mother saw their child for the first time after it was brought to them and they went 'aaaaaawwwwwwnnnn'  and began belting out poetic lines of endearment that flowed like a river...

See many moms had it very tough during pregnancy, and even tougher during delivery and when their baby finally came, they couldn't find the butterfly wings, and the honeyed sweet taste of love to share. It'll take them a long time to heal and be able to reach that point of gushing and overflowing love. Some took one look at their child and looked the other way.

Remember when Rachel bore Benjamin but named him Benoni instead? "Son of my pain" and died immediately after? This thing has been there since.

And please people refuse the urge to compare one mom to another. They are two different people, built in two different ways with two different babies who are having different experiences.  One looks like she just stepped out of a whirlwind machine, the other one looks like she just stepped off the cover of a Vogue 2023 edition. They may have given birth the same day at the same time with similar experiences but please don't be unfortunate.

Allow a mother to work through her issues. If you must say something then please be nice, encourage them, offer help or assistance. Motherhood changes us. Half of the time, we are just winging it and having faith for the best. The other times we are doubting ourselves and crying our eyes out while staring at our barely recognised selves and bodies in the mirror and wondering about our life choices.

So next time a mom says that it'll be five long years before she takes in again, please bite your tongue to stop the quick retort of "I'm betting you're the type to get pregnant before your baby is one yet!"

Allow me the freedom to pray and hope. It isn't your hope to hope.

Then comes the advice about the different family planning methods to use...guys do you know how scary that topic is? How heavy the decision to do that is? 

But even I, am not ready for this discussion yet.  

So be kind and gentle to a mother out there. 

And Moms, we will get through this. We always do. We are super heroes after all.😉